Last Friday, was the most relaxed day I've ever had.
Well, it didn't start out well but it ended well.
Woke up with a headache in the morning, hence, skipping lecture.
Well, can't help that I've been having insomnia recently.
There are days that I could not fall asleep till 6 am in the morning.
Well, that and having to force yourself to sleep is really annoying and uncomfortable.
It seriously sucks.
Went to school at around 11 plus for comskill 2 meeting, some things happened and I panicked a little. Good thing it was resolved :D
At night, during karaoke session, I ate some seaweeds (practically almost all...sorry cas~ >.<) and went out to throw the empty packets away when I saw the trees!
Well, most of them thinks that I'm emo/nuts but I think that the trees are really beautiful.
I sat down staring at them for the rest of the night.
In the darken sky, some of the thin branches seems invisible, the leaves looks like bouquets of flowers, the intricate patterns formed by the branches.
Oh and the wind was nice and soothing!
I have not felt so at peace for so long.
Though I have to admit I was occasionally annoyed because people questioned me a little too much about why I was sitting there staring at the trees.
After that, mervn drove us to East Coast for dinner because I was sort of a brat and wanted to eat satay. LOL!
THANKS MERVN!!!! YOU'RE THE BEST!!!
I will try to be less willful and I will do my best to become my more sociable self soon. Give me some time kay~?
Everyone's bound to have negative thoughts.
In fact, more often than not, negative thoughts are what spur us to do better, right?
For example:
"I think that I am too bossy."
"It's can be really irritating and sometimes counter-productive"
It should then ultimately, lead to something like this:
"I should try to be less bossy and more amiable."
However, I realized that, that is often not the case.
There are like 3 kind of people (perhaps more than that):
1st kind as mentioned above are people who are most likely to lead a happy and successful life.
A 2nd group of people would do this:
"I am too bossy, why am I like this? People must hate me. But it's not my fault, they forced me to, they don't have any initiative,etc etc."
"Well...but I don't want people to hate me so I should try to be nicer, though it's really not my fault."
-Transmission end-
This 2nd group of people will generally mule over such issues and generally be self-conscious and a little insecure. Nevertheless, it usually don't hinder their daily or social life.
The last group of people goes like this:
"Oh my god, why am I so bossy? Sally must have hated me for it. Dale must have been offended by my demanding tone just now."
Eventually leading to something like this:
"Why am I alive? I am such a scum that only knows how to boss people around! I am such an asshole. I must have been such a burden to my parents. I should die!"
Some of these people, either have depression, anxiety or most likely attention seekers.
The former two categories are normally suicidal , needs to seek professional/spiritual help, though they are more likely to be less vocal and harder to spot.
The last category.
The attention seeker and how to spot one.
I believe that they truly do feel that way to a certain extent.
They tend to be very vocal about these feelings towards people they want to capture attention from.
They will gather the sympathy or pity of those who cares about them.
Shoot down most or every word of comfort.
Plain annoying.
Well, other than vocal they tend to show it through their whole body language when possible (producing a gloomy aura) in a very public place where someone is bound to notice.
Their really self-destructive and usually bring those who cares around them down along with them.
Some will eventually spiral into depression and suicide.
I personally have been through number 3 a few years back.
It was after my second hospitalization and I was at an all time low.
Both physically and mentally.
I've managed to pick myself up because I realized how idiotic I must have been.
Ultimately, emos are not your heart, it's in your mind.
If it's in your mind, you can control it.
That's what I've learnt and have to keep reminding myself.
Currently, I'm usually at number 2, rarely at number 3 and striving hard for number 1.
I'm writing this down so that I will have a reminder.
For this year, I will try to eliminate number 3 out of my life.
If I survive this year, than the next goal would be to gain a stronger foothold in number 2.
Finally, if I live long enough, I would want to attain number 1!!!!
It's a new year.
So I'm going to push forward.
I kept telling myself that I must be more cheerful like I used to be.
Be warm and kind and etc.
Truth is, it is really hard.
I've learnt a lot.
Mostly of how cold and cruel the world can be.
In the process, losing sight of the warmth and the brighter sight of the world.
It's like, once you've touched the darkness, it'll draw you in, unwilling to ever let go of you.
Yes, it's hard to get out of that suffocating darkness.
But hard doesn't means that it is impossible.
It just means that I would have to put up a better fight.
I would really try my best, so even if I failed at the end.
At least I've tried.
So much emotion swelling inside me now, I hope that my motivation wouldn't be lost the very next day though...knowing how flicker I can be...
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Visit Akibahara to buy lots of otaku stuff~
.Name: Wong Chiou Torng, pronounced as Qiu Tong...
Initials: Wong C.T
Age:17
Birthday: 25th August
Star sign: Virgo
Nationality:Singaporean
School：Temasek Polytechnic
Loves:Anime and Manga, TPJCG, Food glorious food, Chocolate,Piano :D
Dislikes:Being packed like a sardine and going hungry
名前は：チュ トン
年齢:十七歳
誕生日:25th August 1992
国籍:シンガッポル人
学園:テマせく ポリテクニック
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Last Friday, was the most relaxed day I've ever had.
Well, it didn't start out well but it ended well.
Woke up with a headache in the morning, hence, skipping lecture.
Well, can't help that I've been having insomnia recently.
There are days that I could not fall asleep till 6 am in the morning.
Well, that and having to force yourself to sleep is really annoying and uncomfortable.
It seriously sucks.
Went to school at around 11 plus for comskill 2 meeting, some things happened and I panicked a little. Good thing it was resolved :D
At night, during karaoke session, I ate some seaweeds (practically almost all...sorry cas~ >.<) and went out to throw the empty packets away when I saw the trees!
Well, most of them thinks that I'm emo/nuts but I think that the trees are really beautiful.
I sat down staring at them for the rest of the night.
In the darken sky, some of the thin branches seems invisible, the leaves looks like bouquets of flowers, the intricate patterns formed by the branches.
Oh and the wind was nice and soothing!
I have not felt so at peace for so long.
Though I have to admit I was occasionally annoyed because people questioned me a little too much about why I was sitting there staring at the trees.
After that, mervn drove us to East Coast for dinner because I was sort of a brat and wanted to eat satay. LOL!
THANKS MERVN!!!! YOU'RE THE BEST!!!
I will try to be less willful and I will do my best to become my more sociable self soon. Give me some time kay~?
Everyone's bound to have negative thoughts.
In fact, more often than not, negative thoughts are what spur us to do better, right?
For example:
"I think that I am too bossy."
"It's can be really irritating and sometimes counter-productive"
It should then ultimately, lead to something like this:
"I should try to be less bossy and more amiable."
However, I realized that, that is often not the case.
There are like 3 kind of people (perhaps more than that):
1st kind as mentioned above are people who are most likely to lead a happy and successful life.
A 2nd group of people would do this:
"I am too bossy, why am I like this? People must hate me. But it's not my fault, they forced me to, they don't have any initiative,etc etc."
"Well...but I don't want people to hate me so I should try to be nicer, though it's really not my fault."
-Transmission end-
This 2nd group of people will generally mule over such issues and generally be self-conscious and a little insecure. Nevertheless, it usually don't hinder their daily or social life.
The last group of people goes like this:
"Oh my god, why am I so bossy? Sally must have hated me for it. Dale must have been offended by my demanding tone just now."
Eventually leading to something like this:
"Why am I alive? I am such a scum that only knows how to boss people around! I am such an asshole. I must have been such a burden to my parents. I should die!"
Some of these people, either have depression, anxiety or most likely attention seekers.
The former two categories are normally suicidal , needs to seek professional/spiritual help, though they are more likely to be less vocal and harder to spot.
The last category.
The attention seeker and how to spot one.
I believe that they truly do feel that way to a certain extent.
They tend to be very vocal about these feelings towards people they want to capture attention from.
They will gather the sympathy or pity of those who cares about them.
Shoot down most or every word of comfort.
Plain annoying.
Well, other than vocal they tend to show it through their whole body language when possible (producing a gloomy aura) in a very public place where someone is bound to notice.
Their really self-destructive and usually bring those who cares around them down along with them.
Some will eventually spiral into depression and suicide.
I personally have been through number 3 a few years back.
It was after my second hospitalization and I was at an all time low.
Both physically and mentally.
I've managed to pick myself up because I realized how idiotic I must have been.
Ultimately, emos are not your heart, it's in your mind.
If it's in your mind, you can control it.
That's what I've learnt and have to keep reminding myself.
Currently, I'm usually at number 2, rarely at number 3 and striving hard for number 1.
I'm writing this down so that I will have a reminder.
For this year, I will try to eliminate number 3 out of my life.
If I survive this year, than the next goal would be to gain a stronger foothold in number 2.
Finally, if I live long enough, I would want to attain number 1!!!!
It's a new year.
So I'm going to push forward.
I kept telling myself that I must be more cheerful like I used to be.
Be warm and kind and etc.
Truth is, it is really hard.
I've learnt a lot.
Mostly of how cold and cruel the world can be.
In the process, losing sight of the warmth and the brighter sight of the world.
It's like, once you've touched the darkness, it'll draw you in, unwilling to ever let go of you.
Yes, it's hard to get out of that suffocating darkness.
But hard doesn't means that it is impossible.
It just means that I would have to put up a better fight.
I would really try my best, so even if I failed at the end.
At least I've tried.
So much emotion swelling inside me now, I hope that my motivation wouldn't be lost the very next day though...knowing how flicker I can be...